One of my biggest fears is fear of failure. Ive always been afraid of failure. Even when I managed to pull myself away from my parents I was so afraid of failing other people.
But I can't be afraid of that anymore. Its paralyzing. I cant care about other peoples perception of me to much, because its affecting me too much. Changing me too much.
I spent the last four weeks using my power to split my parents apart because there relationship was killing each other. My mother now underweight and my father suffering from an awful depression. And it was on me to manifest the right circumstances, talk to the right entities.
Ive manifested £1000 for my mother so she can easily pay for her divorce. But she spends so much. My father just moved into a wonderful house with a loving family. But he hates it.
I can't save them, and I think im okay with that. Im spent so much energy on there life, my life is cracking up. I need to find £4000 from somewhere, otherwise I wont have somewhere to live within the next month. But ive got to the point where.... I dont have the energy to fear it. I just dont.
If I end up homeless, i end up homeless. Maybe thats just my karma.
But im okay with it. Its so strange.
If you dont face your fears, you cant release them. You can't change.
And changing yourself is what IM is all about. IF you simply turn away from your fears, there still there. Your just not looking at them. You cant pretend them away, you have to face them. You have to be okay with failing. Hey you may even need to fail, just to find out its nothing to be afraid of.
The world wont end.
Something ive learned. No matter how much conscious control you have of a situation, you cant make your problems go away from a place of fear. You just cant. The situations feeds of that fear and sustains itself.
Face your fears, find peace. And things might get better. If not, atleast you have peace.
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