So im Bi/Gay whatever label to want to put on me.
Which means as a guy, Im attractted to other guys. One of my latest realisations (or not so late realisations) IS that ive been carrying really deep feelings for one of my best friends from school.
You may be wondering why I had to realise I had feelings (And didnt just know (You also may be wondering what this has to do with IM, but i'll get there))
When I was in school, I just thought I was straight. I was attracted to girls, had a couple of girlfriends (didnt lose my virginity though, should have been a clue)
But I had this really great friendship. I idolised him, in so many ways. Always wanted to be around him, always wanted to work with him. Always spent time with him out of school.
But... I just didnt connect the dots. Now that I realise, the emotion is overpowering. I kind of, long for him in a way.
Which can really affect your vibration. Now the best thing to do here, would be to let go. And im trying, but ive carried these feelings around with me unconsciously for years. And theres alot of them!
I hope this may have helped anyone in any similar situation,
With Love and Appreciation,
Seth <3
Your experience is very similar to mine in a lot of ways. I dated a lot of men and in my case, DID lose my virginity and have several lovers, but something was always "off" and it's my crushes on my female friends that always seemed to capture that "longing". It wasn't until I finally had a female lover (we were together for three years) that it finally got through my thick skull. It wasn't an "OMG! I'm gay! I'm gay! Throw a parade!" feeling... it was more "you are home now". Things clicking into place and being right and feeling like my whole self.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you.
There are some good release processes out there - I swear by Kathryn Alice's stuff.
Yes. There was indeed no need to throw a parade. I was just glad to understand myself and my feelings. A sense of "Finally!". I uncoded another peice of my identity.
ReplyDeleteBut thank you,
With Love and Appreciation,
Seth <3